Kabir started the day with his favourite track. He had set it as his alarm tone – a perfect way to set the tone of the day, he thought. He felt better than he had in the past few months and looked forward to better his life, one day at a time. He had just landed a fantastic job – a position that he had been eyeing for a long time. Finally, things have started to fall in place and he felt quite positive and motivated.
He made himself a cup of coffee and sat down to look at the papers that were occupying most of his table. He had planned in detail and made notes – notes about things/ habit that he should get rid of, to make place for the new and better things in his life. Notes about what he should do and the ways he could go about it. He had laid a life plan for himself.
Looking at the list and notes, he didn’t feel as happy and motivated as he thought he would or rather he should – he couldn’t tell whether it was the excitement or the nervousness! And as he tried to self-talk, he noticed that there wasn’t any excitement in his voice and he didn’t feel as confident about himself as he felt last night.
He was free now – free from a loveless relationship and a corrupt workplace. Then why was he not happy? What was it that was stopping him to be his new self? Feelings of doubt and desperation surrounded him once again. And he understood it will take longer than he had thought. He felt as if he was held a hostage in a fortress.
But he was locked – locked away in his memories of the past, present day dilemmas and in worries about the future.